it’s at this hour when sleeping seems a joke
(but staying awake even more so)
that I find myself thinking of you
(it makes my heart speed up, just a little)
and wishing you were here
(for what did we know of love?
though we never neglected to say ‘i love you’)

life’s different now, though really the same
(as it always will be)

we look obliquely at once straightforward things & label it wisdom
(& what do we know of life?
but I wish we could uncover it together)

our hands have calloused, but are soft underneath—
still we call it strength
(as we wonder ‘are burdens forever?’
& ‘are they shared?’)but
all we know is together we will be okay.

(truth)

--erica lynn



I wrote this for Scott as I was falling asleep a few weeks ago and just thought I'd share it since I hadn't posted in forever and I rather like it :)

Hope you all enjoy.

SILENCE
by Erica Lynn Fiekowsky

Silence, the ever golden thing,
Without a tone, it cannot sing,
But it rings all the same, from ear to ear,
Spreading happiness and fear,
To drift and land
And be--an omnipresent friend--
Taught me my stillness to maintain--
To whisper through until the end,
Keeping held within my boundless mind,
The infinite treasure my silence would find.

At last, with forces mounting high,
The heavens shake, expel a sigh,
Of great release and thunderous cry,
Do not look now--you’ve lost your chance
To scream and sing as now you dance
From hour to next on feathery feet
Praying in silence--again we’ll meet--
Someday somewhere you’ll see me stare
And laugh as well--perhaps discreet
But you’ll know the meaning of the sound
The silence will carry the resound
And your muffle will break
With the sound you can’t make.

Remember
by Erica Lynn Fiekowsky

remember
Past is a lonely girl with a flower in her hair.

young future resides on a chaise
pensive, hopes of riches hovering in between greatness and wellness

(i whisper “will he steal her flower” to you and “Past dies over decisions of flowered skirt or tattered jeans, life’s hair is braided” i

say to you who says nothing.—“Do you see Past? she is skipping over hopscotch
here to there, to that to nothing
to a bird four quarters
dead
with a broken wing and she cries to no one about
nothing they understand and murmurs about regrets—oh so many regrets”)

and mon amour opened her lips to slowly say I think so.
But
There’s someone else

there is a child whose name is
Present
he lies seemingly helpless in pasts’s arms, is really all too strong;
has no regrets.

Speed update!

I'm going to prom
oh wait, it would seem I'm not.
Ah well.

I'm not sleeping. Pretty much at all. Fucking insomnia.

David Baer has a cute dog.

I have a car and a license and I'm SO glad.

Zach Maas is a cool guy.

Katie Mueller is all my heart's wishes come true (ha I almost typed "witches").

Joey Richards is mine.

Kasi Krauss is mine.

Urvi Nagrani finds cool shells. And she's mine, too.




Umm. Yeah.

That's about it.

Hey hey hey hey hey
Wanna know something cool??

I got my driver's license today!

Yes!

And my examiner (the Russian lady who supposedly fails everyone [like she did the person before me]) only had one comment for me: "Good job!"

Score.

Oh, and afterwards Mom took me out to Fro Yo which totally made my day.

Yay contentment.

Oh it's here again
the sweet return
of a long lost
Love
Lover
Lovely words that
Flow
Spring
Drink from my veins
and into my heart
That sing in my head and
Ease the pain
and Scream the pain
and Spin the pain
into golden threads
of words
Words never before
not ever in the past
placed in this formation
In this
Pattern
Order
Picture made to bring stumbling eyes
in line with ancient stars
and sights never seen
never to be seen
hidden for all time
but known all the same
The return of poetry
Sweetness
Omniscient
Omnipresent sight
through souls Boundless and Free.

I used to write.

I used to pour words out my fingers
And they'd build themselves on my page
And spin and twirl into precisely the sensation in my mind
And every single person who could understand my words could
In turn
Understand my worlds.
The ability to recreate abstractness
Into a form everyone can understand,
The talent to send a specific feeling to someone
Without even knowing them
Is rare.

I feel that I wasted it
for almost a year.

I haven't written in so long.
Not like I used to.

Everything I said was poetic
people even told me that I moved poetically.

I want that back
and I'm going to work for it.

I owe that to those people who supported me in writing for so long
and I owe it to myself for believing for so long.

I am a writer.
It just doesn't feel right not to be.

Whoa. I'm updating.

Sort of. Just lyrics, really. But all's good and hectic and these lyrics really just made me think of a lot of my friends and family and all them people I adore.

Calling You
Blue October

There's something that I can't quite explain
I'm so in love with you
You'll never take that away
And if I've said a hundred times before
Expect a thousand more
You'll never take that away

Well expect me to be
Calling you to see
If you're okay when I'm not around,
Asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound
Calling you to see
Do I try too hard to make you smile,
To make us smile...

I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping are you dreaming
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me

I thought that the world had lost its way
(It's so hard sometimes)
Then I fell in love with you
(Then came you)
And you took that away
(It's not so difficult, the world is not so difficult)

You take away the old, show me the new
And I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you
So while I'm on this phone
A hundred miles from home
I'll take the words you gave
And send them back to you

I only want to see
If you're okay when I’m not around,
Asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound
Calling you to see
Do I try too hard to make you smile,
To make us smile....

I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping are you dreaming
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me...

Haha, fascinating stuff here:
http://www.yoursexiq.com/questions.php?id=3178